Break-Up Etiquette: How To End Things As Drama-Less As Possible

Break-Up Etiquette: How To End Things As Drama-Less As Possible

All good things come to an end. It’s something we’ve all heard before, but when it’s in the context of a break-up---a break-up that we’re going through---that’s the LAST thing we want someone to say to us.

Nothing is even remotely comfortable about ending a relationship with someone. But sometimes life happens. Maybe you’re not as compatible as you thought. Maybe you’re going in two different directions. Maybe you want different things (that’s a biggie). Maybe one of you wants to see other people (and started doing it while you were together). Maybe…maybe…maybe. The break-up possibilities really are endless.

The only thing worse than breaking things off? Doing it in a way that is messy. If there’s a silver lining to a break-up is there are several things that you can do to avoid drama from arising. So pull yourself together. Take a deep breath. Vent to your closest and dearest friend. Then gear up to do the following five things.

We ain’t gonna lie. It won’t be easy. But the cleaner a break is, the quicker you can heal. And MOVE ON.

Do It In Person

Unless it’s a long-distance relationship (and even then, don’t settle for less than FaceTime or Skype), a break-up really needs to happen in person. Over the phone and most definitely over text is nothing shy of cowardly and super disrespectful. It’s basically conveying that you don’t care about the person’s response, reaction or feelings. And even if that’s the case, there’s such a thing as bad karma. You are asking for all sorts of it by taking this highly-impersonal approach.

Keep The “Breaking News” Off Of The Internet

Have you ever heard that relationships last longer when they're kept offline? There’s a lot of truth there. No one is saying that you should’ve been hiding what you’ve got going on. It’s just that the moment you change your status to “In A Relationship”, you’re asking people to get all involved. Sure, it might be cute to get all of their “Awh. Congratulations!” when you’re celebrating an anniversary, but boy are you gonna HATE IT when they’re chiming in once you call it quits.

Also, when people use their social media accounts to vent, based on how much they say and how long they say it, they end up looking a little cray-cray. Not the impression you want to give once you’re newly single.

Don’t Tell Blabbermouths

Did your mama ever tell you “If they gossip to you, they will gossip about you”? So true. Be very calculated about who you initially share your break-up news with. While the wound is fresh, only talk it out with people who you know will console and support you and---please don't forget this point---provide you with good advice. And by that we mean, counsel that will move you forward rather than anything that will keep holding you back.

Don’t Say What You Don’t Mean

Sometimes it’s a good idea to “woosah”, take a moment and think about what you really want to say. What can make some break-ups messy is that people are so emotional at the time they are doing it that things come out of their mouth that they end up regretting in the long run. Words have a way of boomeranging, especially during a break-up. If you don’t want to hear some “unfiltered truths” back, be careful before spewing them out at your very-soon-to-be-ex. 

Leave “Break-up Sex” OFF Of The Table

The movies may tell you that break-up sex is the best. You might have even had some before that led you to agree. To us, it’s just adding to the drama. There is such a thing as oxytocin in your body. It’s a hormone that’s at its peak during orgasms. It causes people to feel great and to bond. The passion (or is it fear?) of losing someone can make the sex extra intense, but that doesn’t mean it’s emotionally healthy for you. If you’re saying “good-bye”, that should include EVERYTHING. Intercourse---or any other kind of sex---should be totally off of the table. It comes with you and you’re a package deal.

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